The Hippie-o-Meter

Hippie rankings on a scale of 1 – 10

 

The BW: Once upon a time, in Holland, The BW almost went off the hippie deep end. These days he is a disciplined pro, but remains a hippie at heart. Hippie Rank 2.7

 

The Danghiz:

Hippie Rank 3.8 when last spotted, though the rank is likely to have risen due to prolonged exposure to the Permaculture.

 

Adjusted for factors: Time / Permaculture / California. Hippie Rank hEstimation: was 3.8 is 5.7!

This just in: A recent sighting of the Dennis’ feet confirm his newfound degree of hippieness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Chris:

Well Hippie, innit: Hippie Rank 3.7. Don’t let the tortoise shell shades and stylish beard fool you, underneath that smooth exterior lurks a hippie. Rank increased to 5.7 due to recent re- discovery of his inner hippie by the Chris

 

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“The-Schoofadokusaurus-Rex”: Last Gen Hippie 2.0

 

                                                       

Some say the only reason he wants to cure cancer, is so that he will have less competition for medical tweed. Hippie Rank 2.8

 

The hAdam

 

hAdams ascent, to unparalleled heights of hippiness, has been nothing less than meteoric. Hippie Rank 7.8

 The hAdam’s Hippie Rank has been adjusted for hippie inflation: was 7.8 is 8.1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Drizz: Lowkey Hippie

The Drizz is conservative, when it comes to outwardly displaying his inner hippie. What will it take for Dries to let his Hippie loose? Hippie ranking: 2.4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The J. There should be no doubt about it: the J is a hippie. Not only is he a hippie, he speaks truth to power on behalf of millions of hippies, around the world: 

http://roarmag.org/

Hippie Rank 5.3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Penelope: Similar to the Chris, not so far underneath the polished surface bubbles pure hippie spirit. Hippie Rank 3.2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The Nicole:

At first glance, the fact that the Nicole is a hippie, may elude the untrained eye. As evidenced by this image, the Nicole is well suited to exist in Nature, one of the principles of Hippiness. Hippie Rank 3.6.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 R.

Let’s face it, R is not a Hippie. He is a suit. Nonetheless, honorable mention. Hippie Rank 1.3.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The Pierre:

The Pierre is at home in many Hippie Markets, from imbibing various nectars to practicing free love. Hippie Rank: 4.8

 Adjusted for factors: hippicractic vote. Hippie Rank hEstimation: was 4.8 is 6.3!*

* The Pierre is such a natural, he makes being a hippie look easy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The Karlien: Peace to you too, hippie sister.

The Karlien can party as few contemporary hippies can. Hippie Rank: 4.1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Timmeh:

The Timmeh is not the first person to come to mind at the mention of hippies. He has his shit pretty well squared away. I’d hope so, given that he flies vehicles that are capable of knocking down twin towers and such as like. But I ask you, could a man, who is not the slightest bit hippie, so lovingly pin a beast down with his face? Hippie rank: 2.1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Simonator:

The Simonator is by no means a typical hippie. He is not a hippie by lifestyle, but by blood, being of the same DNA as the hAdam (Aad). Though the Simonator’s hippie genes are not expressed as fully as the hAdam’s, there is a 70% + chance his offspring will be hippies. Hippie rank 4.3.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hAmla:

Just because the hAmla is down to slap a fool across the jaw, doesn’t mean she isn’t a hippie. If anyone has a great big hippie heart, it’s the hAmla. Hippie Rank: 4.2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Lynn:

the Lynn is the kind of hippie that handles business, so the other hippies can afford to do all the goofy shit that makes them hippies in the first place. Hippie Rank: 3.2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Donya:

The Donya is one of the few hippies left who are still willing to take a police beating. Since this is one of the purest hippie qualities, hippie rank: 5.1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Fleur:

Even if the Fleur wasn’t a hippie, she would still rank as one, simply for having the perfect hippie name. But in reality, she lives up to and honors her name, by carrying out the great Hippie tradition of “rocking out”. Hippie Rank: 4.2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Spence:

The Spence is another atypical Hippie. In fact, it is kind of a challenge to prove that he is a hippie to begin with. Never the less, honorable mention for being quite a legendary cat: Hippie Rank 1.9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Siddeeqah:

The Siddeeqah is more or less the complete hippie package: gardening, going gluten free, starting a commune… the list goes on. Hippie rank 6.1

 

 

The Rutger:

The Rutger proves that even impeccable dress, fastidious grooming and elite education can’t trump hippie blood. The same hippie potential is encoded in his DNA as in the Chris’s, patiently waiting for the environment to throw it some stimulation. Hippie Rank: 3.3.

 

 

The Bruce:

Where ever the Bruce is loose, hippiness is sure to ensue. If his warm righteousness and gentle power aren’t hippie, I dont want to be a hippie. Hippie Rank: 6.2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Himpie:

The Himpie puts the “pie” in Hippie.* He is a newly evolved sub-species of Urban hippie, pretty nicely adapted to thrive in the “estuaries” where the great “ecosystems” of capitalism and hippiness connect. A pretty nice strategy to synthesize these ecosystems:

http://www.prettyniceshirts.com/

* Just because “pie” is in the word “Himpie”. Not to imply that the Himpie makes love to pies, that I fancy him romantically, that he is a pussy, or any other unfortunate ambiguations that may have arisen from the intro!

Hippie Rank: 4.3

 

 

The Colleen:

If using Nature to heal people isn’t hippie enough, there is always this image to help convince you the Colleen is a hippie. Hippie rank: 4.8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Job:

The Job is a funky and groovy cat who also puts the ‘hip’ in hippie. If  somehow you doubt that he is a hippie, you have never seen him play basketball! Hippie Rank: 3.9



The Astrid:

 

Nowadays, the Astrid is in Television, and rubs shoulders and elbows with the BigWigs. Who would suspect her of being a hippie? Those who have seen her roaming the UC campus barefoot know different. Hippie Rank: 4.0

 

The Barynia:

There is no doubt the hippie side of the force is strong with the young padawan Barynia. She too possesses hippie healing powers. Hippie Rank: 4.9

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